Lent – Tending, Loving, Caring: Tending to Each Other
John 13:1-17
Free Community Church
3 March 2024
Focus Statement:
As we lean into Jesus’ call to love each other by tending to each other, our care needs to be centered on the other person, we need to learn to receive as well as give, and to realise that we are called to do our best, and not to be perfect.
Good morning – and WELCOME HOME! Welcome to Free Community Church where Free stands for First Realise Everyone’s Equal.
**Menti Slide intro.
Today we continue our Lenten sermon series TLC – Tending, Loving, Caring. In the past 2 sermons, Pauline and I looked at tending to the ourselves, our inner world.
I started the series with the truth we need to have before we even begin to tend to ourselves. Because often, we can’t even begin to tend to ourselves, care for ourselves and love ourselves because we are not anchored in the truth that we are God’s beloved.
Pauline continued last week, pointing out that we are called to die to ourselves by letting go of our false selves to become who we are meant to be, and finding life when we give of ourselves for the sake of the gospel and the kin-dom of God.
Today, we move from tending, loving and caring for ourselves, to tending, loving and caring for others.
I want to start by asking –think of a moment where Jesus tends to others – which one left the deepest impression on you?
Every interaction that Jesus had with people, he was tending to them. Whether it was speaking to Nicodemus in John 3, or to the Samaritan woman by the well, or healing the man by the pool of Bethesda, exorcising demons out the Gerasene man, or teaching Mary and Martha, and many others in Mary and Martha’s home, or resurrecting Lazarus – Jesus was tending to them.
But there is one Jesus gave as an example to his disciples how to tend to each other.
John 13:1-17
Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 The devil had already decided[a] that Judas son of Simon Iscariot would betray Jesus. And during supper 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going to God, 4 got up from supper, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself.
5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet,[b] but is entirely clean. And you[c] are clean, though not all of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, “Not all of you are clean.”
12 After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had reclined again, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for that is what I am. 14 So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 16 Very truly, I tell you, slaves are not greater than their master, nor are messengers[d] greater than the one who sent them. 17 If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.
Just wanted to get a sense – how many of you have been to a foot washing in church before – doesn’t matter whether it is FCC, or another church.
As you enter your answers, I want to share a little bit about foot washing.
In most churches I know, it is the pastor or pastors who would wash the feet of the leaders, and then sometimes the leaders will wash the feet of those they lead.
In the Catholic church, the feet-washing ceremony was begun by Pope Saint Gregory the Great in the sixth century. It fell out of use and was revived by Pope John XXII in 1959.
In recent years, Pope Francis pushed the boundaries as he washed the feet of women and non-Catholics and in 2016, declared that women should be included in foot-washing ceremonies. That is how we should do church – serving all God’s people, and realising when Jesus said “love each other as I have loved you,” it isn’t limited to those within our community. It means everyone.
At FCC, we conduct foot washing as part of our Maundy Thursday observance. We have included foot washing in some of our retreat programmes previously.
For those who have experienced it before – how did it feel to wash someone else’s feet? How did it feel to have your foot washed by someone else?
As some of you key in your answers – I want to give those of you who have not been to a foot washing before some idea of what happens here at FCC.
For those who have been to our Maundy Thursday service, you would realise, we do it differently as well. Neither Pauline or myself wash 12 people’s feet. Instead we have a few stations and people sit waiting for someone to come up to wash their feet. When they are done, they leave, and the person who did the washing take their seat, and wait for someone else to come up.
Sometimes the person who comes up to wash our feet is someone we know well. Sometimes it is a stranger. Sometimes it is someone we have a broken relationship with. Something special happens – and we let the Holy spirit move each person and not control.
We do this because this is aligning with “First Realise Everyone’s Equal.” Each of us are called to serve each other. We are following Jesus instruction to wash one another’s feet.
Let’s go through some of what you have shared about your experience. I wonder how many of you felt that it was easier to wash someone else’s feet than having your feet washed by someone. I wonder how many of you thought the other person was doing it wrong.
But what is the point of this? Why did Jesus tell us to wash each other’s feet?
I think washing each other’s feet is symbolic. It means we are called to care for each other, love each other with humility just like a servant. Jesus showed how it looked like.
We must not mistake the command to wash each other’s feet as a literal instruction. Just like Jesus telling the disciples over the last supper “this is my body broken for you, this is my blood poured out for you,” Jesus isn’t literal.
We re-enact these occasions – the last supper, the foot washing – as a reminder to what Jesus taught and commanded.
Jesus said :
So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.
I want to ask gently – how are you doing as Jesus has done for you?
We often declare that we love Jesus. But what does that mean? I want to draw on a very familiar passage.
John 21
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”
Peter declares here – you know that I love you three times. Very often we focus on how this mirrors the three times Peter denies Jesus and miss
Jesus’ answer to Peter – Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.
First, I think we all understand that Jesus isn’t literally asking Peter to be a shepherd and raise a flock of sheep. It is a metaphor. It is symbolic.
Jesus isn’t telling Peter to feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep to make up for the three times Peter denied him. Jesus is telling Peter this is how you love me – Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.
Loving Jesus is not just a declaration. It is not just a feeling. It is action. It is tending to each other.
Tending to each other isn’t meant just for those who are called to pastor. This is meant for everyone.
Just as Jesus loved us, then we ought to love one another.
John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I believe that love one another is both a command to love everyone beyond this community AND love one another is to love those in this community.
So we have to tend to each other, but how do we do that?
I have 3 things I want to offer.
Some of you know I am a plant parent. Not exactly I good one. I killed many plants in the past few years. One way I did that – and those of you who have plants would know too – is by overwatering.
I mean, plants need water right? And so when the plant looks sickly, guess what I did? I watered it. And then it dies. I learned through those experiences that I needed to check exactly what was wrong, then address the issue with the right solution. You know the saying “when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail?” For me with plants, at least in the beginning, it was when there is a problem, just water more.
Often, the issue is root rot – and that stems from overwatering.
How does it apply to tending to each other? Very often we care for people, tend to people, in the way that works for us, or in the way that we are used to. We don’t check with the other person and ask what that person needs. This way of doing things is actually self-centered, and not centered on the other person.
I have shared before – Jesus tend to people in a different way. When Jesus healed Bartimaeus in Mark 10, Jesus asked him “what do you want me to do for you.” Just because Jesus could heal blindness, Jesus didn’t assume that was what Bartimaeus needed.
That can inform us in how we care for each other – and that is also freeing – instead of thinking that we have to be a superhero, we tend to each other asking “what do you want me to do for you?”
When we tend to each other, the care has to be centered on the other person.
That’s why sometimes we may feel frustrated – “how come the other person is not appreciative of the care and concern I have shown for them?” Because we did not center the care and concern on what the other person needs, but come from what we can give.
The second is this – receiving care and love is a form of love as well. When Jesus steps up to wash Peter’s feet, and Peter says “You will never wash my feet.”
Why do you think Peter says this? Because he felt unworthy to have his feet washed by his teacher.
Jesus tells Peter “Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.”
Receiving love and care from someone else is having a share with them.
I have heard many people tell me this – “Pastor Miak, I don’t want to disturb you because I know you are busy.”
Yes, I can be busy. But what they don’t realise they are saying is that they are not deserving of my time. And often they say the same thing to the people around them – “I don’t want to disturb others because they are busy.”
This is a difference between a transactional relationship, and a mutual relationship. And to have a share in each other, it to tend to each other and that means to receive as well as to give.
Finally, We are called to do our best, rather than to be perfect when we tend to each other
We often carry this perfectionistic streak – we expect things to be perfect. We expect others to be perfect. We expect ourselves to be perfect. And this perfectionistic streak becomes the obstacle to us stepping forward to tend to others. we often hesitate to step forward to tend to others because we think we are not good enough, and that we will screw up. Well, let me tell you this – you will screw up. And you have permission to screw up. Don’t let the fear of making mistakes hold you back from tending to others.
Do you think Peter is perfect? No. He screwed up before – hey, who denied Jesus three times? And he screwed up after. But still, Jesus told him to “Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.”
Recently, someone told me something profoundly wise.
They asked me “Do you think they are doing their best?”
I paused. Yes. They are doing their best. “Well, they may not meet your expectations, but they are doing their best.” And I stopped being frustrated. Empathy replaced resentment.
Jesus didn’t expect Peter to be perfect. Jesus expected Peter to do his best.
Likewise, Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect. Jesus expects us to do our best.
When I was growing up I was expected to be perfect. I would be caned or punished if I didn’t get full marks. That has a lot of effect on me as an adult and left a lot of psychological scars. I am still unlearning what I have learned.
Last time, I used to be very affected when folks leave the aircon on in church. It has happened back in the Aljunied days, it happens here in Commonwealth. But I have learned to ask myself “do you think they did their best?”
So I would like to invite every one of you to carry this question as you tend to each other, and care for each other “Do you think they did their best?” and “Do you think you have done your best?”
We have lived out this as we started broadcasting our services. I am very heartened how gentle we are with each other when we get glitches or technical issues, or even human errors. We don’t get annoyed, or affected, we just brush it off – because we believe everyone is doing their best.
This is how tending to each other look like.
I want to close today with a gentle invitation.
Tending to each other, caring for each other, loving each other can come in many ways. Today our T-mart volunteers are delivery the groceries many of you contributed to – and that is tending directly to our transgender elderly beneficiaries.
Sometimes, because the manner of caring, loving and serving isn’t direct, we don’t realise that what we do is in fact, tending to each other.
We have more and more people from overseas attending our service online. The production team – those manning the cameras, those in the hive managing the broadcast – serve every single person who is watching our service online. While you may not often get appreciated, I hope you know you are “loving each other, serving each other.”
Same goes for those who serve on the worship team, the prayer team, the communion team, the CARE team that prays for people after service – you may not directly encounter those you are tending to and you may not get the warm fuzzy feeling, but you are still tending to them.
We are short of volunteers in many areas – for social media, for production, for children’s ministry. If you feel like called to step up to serve, step up to tend to others just as you have been tended to, please reach out to us. You know the all-purpose email address – info@freecomchurch.org
Let us pray.
Jesus, you ask us – just as you asked Peter “Do you love me?”
And you say to us
Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep
As we step up to tend to each other,
Help us realise that you know we will make mistakes
We will fall short
But all you are asking of us
Is for us to do our best.
Give us the wisdom, the love, the will, the strength
To live up to your commandment
To love each other as you have loved us.
Amen.
