Eulogy for Rev Yap
I thought that this quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is most apt about this giant of a person who has touched out lives.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the psychiatrist who came up with the concept of the five stages of grief said, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Rev Yap’s experience being beaten up by the Japanese soldiers during world war 2 that left him crippled did just that. He could have emerged from the experience bitter. He could have emerged wanting revenge, prejudiced against Japanese people. But he did not. Instead his heart got bigger. We have heard stories the past few days and got to know about his multi-faceted life, and how many people he held in his heart. His concern for people transcended religion, nationality and race. He had a big heart.
Chua Mui Hoong wrote the most beautiful eulogy for Rev Yap in the Straits Times.
She wrote:
The secular world and even the way of some churches that preach a prosperity gospel, is to aim for upward mobility. We strive for more – more wealth, more status, more glory. Rev Yap’s life was a study in downward mobility – after being a Methodist bishop, he moved on to pastor those ostracised by mainstream churches. Some would say such a movement of the descending way, is a reflection of true gospel values.
Kubler Ross said “when you make your transition, you are asked two things basically; how much have you love have you been able to give and receive, and how much service have you rendered. And you will know every consequence of every deed, every thought, every word you ever uttered. and that is, symbolically speaking, going through hell when you see many chances you have missed. but you also see how a nice act of kindness has touched hundreds of lives you are unaware of.”
Well, I think Rev Yap will have quite a lot of material to go through in the next few days of what he has done for people he has met, and the people he has not met. I know, for one, of all the people who benefitted from the affordable HIV medication he helped obtain.
We will continue the good work you started, Rev Yap. And we will start new work – works that liberate and heal, works that bring peace and justice. That is my promise to you.
We don’t truly stop grieving. And even though someone may have passed on, they remain with us. This morning, as the thunder roared – which sounded like me sobbing on Sunday morning in office– grief came back again. This time not like a torrent, but like gentle warm waves washing up the beach, washing all over me. i think of Rev Yap, but i cannot really say i miss him because i sense his presence within me. His voice, his chuckle.
Now he has become more powerful than he can imagine. Because his voice egging me on, telling me to push myself has transcended physical limitations – I will always carry him with me.
Day 2 – 19 Nov 2017
In the middle of the forest lay a fallen redwood tree – it stood tall in its day – as tall as a 30-storey building, a giant above the rest. It lay on the forest floor now.
We gather at wakes to share stories. Stories of life, stories of love, stories of the person who left us with memories. Rev Yap Kim Hao lived a full life – I would say many full lives as scholar, teacher, pastor, activist, visionary, peacemaker, justice-seeker, comrade, father, grandfather, great-grandfather mentor, friend, spouse. He has left a huge legacy – and he has touched so many lives – both the people he had met, and those he had not met.
To me, he was an exemplary teacher of the Christian faith. He did not just talk the talk. He walked the walk. He would not balk at interacting with people who may bring him disrepute – reputation was not his main concern. Justice was.
Rev Yap wasn’t just a mentor, teacher, pastor – he was a prophet. And like the prophets, he said and did things to challenge the status quo, seeking justice and righteousness – his favourite verse from Amos 5:24 “But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream” is the end of a lament of the Prophet Amos, an indictment of the state of things today. He pointed out issues that we all need to pay attention to – providing affordable HIV medication to all people, promoting safe sex, human rights issues, interfaith dialogue…
Like Jesus, he associated with those on the margins, the oppressed, the minorities – those society often considered the undesirables. He listened. He cared. I will always remember that occasion when we hosted the International Sex Workers Day celebration, and when we met June Chua, a former transgender sex worker. June came up to me, and so characteristic of June, asked me “a pastor from a church said i will go to hell. What do you say?” I was taken aback. I just arrived, and I wasn’t prepared for this. My mind started racing through how to reply – I would have to talk about Rahab, Tamar and how the bible is not of one voice about sex work – I was basically starting to formulate an essay in my head. Just then Rev Yap arrived, and June, turned to him and asked him the same question. He replied in the most pastoral and comforting way in his deep voice with a little chuckle – “Where you go, I will go.”
In that moment I saw Christ. At the heart of the Gospel is a God who is more concerned about people, and less concerned about the rules, the formalities, the rituals.
Rev Yap later helped June to do her Diploma in social service studies at the Social Service Institute. June was one of the top-scorers in her course. In 2016, she was awarded the Aware Award for Gender Equality and Justice.
Many folks from FCC have shared their experiences meeting Rev Yap.
Another member:
I don’t have many interactions with Rev Yap… but every interaction is passionate and action-focused.
When I stepped into FCC last year, Rev Yap got to know of my professional training and told me that we needed to provide professional help to people who struggle in the community because supportive listening is not enough. Shortly after, he said we needed to address the misuse of research articles to misrepresent and justify abuse against the community. And again earlier this year, he told me that I should go volunteer at another VWO because they were in need of therapists.
His passion for the people and his heart to make things better for the community came through each time. When I saw him coming, I knew that he had thought of an avenue where he believed I could make a difference. He challenged everyone to stretch beyond what they are currently doing… to go further.
In a way, Rev Yap propelled me along in my spiritual journey to be more connected and to experience the scripture that we are blessed and equipped so that we can be channels to bless and equip the church that our Lord loves and that He willingly suffered and gave His life for our everlasting reconciliation.
I continue to marvel at the sacrifice that Rev Yap had made for a community that he wasn’t originally part of. May the Lord grant us all the wisdom to know who and how, and favour for opened doors to exercise our blessed privilege to intercede and better the lives of others, to continue the work Rev Yap seeded.
Ollie:
Rev Yap and I seem to have an affinity. Despite just knowing him for three years, he called me to pursue a Master of Divinity degree abroad in one of USA’s most inclusive and prestigious schools – Claremont School Of Theology. Maybe he saw something in me. We seemed to agree a lot about our perceptions of God, Faith and life. However, sometimes I had trouble, despite being as liberal as I am, with also understanding what Rev Yap meant. Nonetheless, we would always have great conversations over lunch after church. Many would find him intimidating to talk to. I found him to not only affirm my beliefs but to have a prophetic voice.
He was like a mentor on my journey in life and left me with this piece of wisdom before I left for the U.S. when I met him at his home. He said: “Ollie, faith is changing, people’s perceptions of God are rapidly changing. Church to us will not be the same as church to them in the future. You need to go beyond the boundaries, beyond the denominations, the dogma and creeds. Transcend religion itself. Don’t care about the titles, the ceremony, serve everyone. There will always be lost sheep, people who find that mainstream church isn’t working for them but are still in need of spiritual nourishment. Go find them, they too need a home.”
I struggled with that concept, but maybe it’s my evangelical Christian schooling. But I finally understood what he meant. He wanted us as human beings to be free, free from structure and the unequal powers which held is down from reaching the fullest potential. He wanted us to see the incarnation of the divine within us, just like how Christ did. His was a theology of empowerment and liberation, a clear reflection of the work he had been doing all his life with communities of the margins – LGBT people, migrant workers, those living with HIV and the interfaith community.
Thank you so much for your belief in me Rev Yap, I will continue your work in empowerment and liberation. I’ll go find them and like you did in your life, help them find a home too. Tell you more about what I did when we meet again. God speed
Darryl shared this:
“I still remember the first time I met Rev Yap. I don’t remember what we discussed that evening exactly, but what is etched in my mind is the feeling I went home with that day. It was the first time a bona fide man of the cloth had irrevocably said, “You are loved and accepted by God as you are” I never had a habit of keeping a journal, but this is what I wrote down in a notebook when I got home:
“Today I met a very wise man. Although he did not give me the answers I was looking for, I think today I can finally lay the issue to rest. Today marks the end of my battle with myself. I have shattered my personal hell, and by no means will I ever return to it again. Today marks the beginning of the rest of my journey in Christ.
When a giant redwood falls, it begins a critical phase in the forest ecosystem. A fallen tree often acts as a nurse log, supporting understory growth and opening pockets of sunlight to give less hearty plants the sunlight they need. The death of one life form paves the way for the sustenance of countless other plants and animals in the ecosystem.
I had always been uncomfortable with Rev Yap telling people I am the hope for the LGBT community. He had always been lifting me up, and allowing me to stand upon his shoulders to do the work needed to be done.
When God was about to take Elijah up to heaven by a whirlwind, Elijah asked Elisha, ““Tell me what I may do for you, before I am taken from you.” Elisha said, “Please let me inherit a double share of your spirit.”
Today, I ask not for a double share of Rev Yap’s spirit – I ask for all of us to inherit a share of his spirit so that we will take up his mantle to do the work. I ask that we do not wish for another giant, but wake up to our call and responsibility to participate in liberation, justice and peace making. May justice and righteousness seep through the cracks like water to the places desperately needing them
There are fewer and fewer giants living amongst us today and we – all of us – have to take on the task to labour till like Rev Yap, we earn our rest.
